The Line, Part One: Eriks

Monster Rancher Metropolis: Library: Fan Fiction, Poetry, Birthday List, Links & Non-Fiction Archive: Incomplete Epics (left unfinished for over a year): The Line, Part One: Eriks
Ken Kaji on Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 07:32 pm:

Where is the line between human and monster? Many humans are very monstrous. Many monsters are very humane. Which should be which?

Burnt. Fire.
Crimson, tinged with green and yellow. That’s what the color of the smell.
Unmistakable. Dragon fire.
The hellhound said so to his master.
“Hmm…haven’t seen a dragon since that last tournament. Mostly because there are none around here. At least not naturally. Stray, secret training, retired, or something else?”
The hellhound sniffed around at the unburned areas.
“I may smell dragon fire, but I smell no dragon,” he said.
“Is that so, Blaze?” The figure stood in silence for a while. “Then this is something else,”
“I smell other faint odors,” said Blaze, sniffing around, “ like grindings from a Joker’s scythe and the kind of lightning made by Antlans.”
“Curious, and Curiouser.”

“That’s not a word. Curiouser, that is.”
The child stood there, fuming as his fuse burned down.
“I’ll say curiouser and funner and somewhen as much as I want!” he exploded. “I took to raising you out here to specifically avoid school! You’re a wolf, not an English teacher!”
“Whatever you say, Arc.” Blaze sniffed more intently at the side of a bush, and then to another area slightly of to the side of the apparent battle. “I smell a Suzerin, as if it was brushed lightly against this bush, and some of the magic dust from a very powerful and unique pixie, in this area where the grass is slightly padded down.”
“Do you think it has anything to do with that Durahan and Zan you smelled back in the forest?”
“No, they don’t seem to have been here. But there’s one smell here I can’t quite pin down. Almost like a human, but it has that kind of lack of smell that jokers, or galis, and those floating blocks leave. Strange.”
Arc sighed. Nothing ever happened in Wind Valley. But he lived away from it and it’s main city, Tornadon, which was in the middle of the trade routes and trade winds, the city were gifts from afar come from east, west, north, south and above. Arc lived in the remote mountain village of Zephyrum, high above the Wind Valley. It was never really windy here, and even up here in the ridge meadows that Arc liked to train in, the fiercest air around was a slightly chilly breeze. It was always sunny. Nothing ever happened here. Everything was normal.
He looked back, over his village and down into the valley. He was the only thing out of the ordinary around here. Except that two headed mew, but that’s not surprising when Heggins was every male ancestor in the family tree for the past thirty generations. He was the only monster rancher in his village and one of twenty-three in the valley. And only two would have anything to do with him other than fighting in the tournaments. And he was extremely rivaled with one, and the other was a girl that was just too kinky.
But now there was something out of the ordinary besides him. He thought about what Blaze had said. Was it a new monster? Would he discover a new monster? He looked at himself. Kids wearing “Everywhere” blue sweatshirts, nondescript white tees, shorts, and a baseball bat don’t do amazing things like that, he thought to himself. Adults do that. Famous people do that, like Holly, or that Kajima guy who was running around with one of the few Galis here on Age Island.
Remembering that, he winced at how badly Blaze was beaten by Kajima’s Gali.
“I found which way they went!” said Blaze, looking back over his shoulder at Arc. Arc quickly ran up and followed Blaze as he leapt through the grasses, and into the forest. It was a forest he sometimes visited. It was on the opposite side of the ridge as his village. A few Zuums looked up as they passed. They finally came to a clearing. A large rock stood in the center, and a spring made a gurgling pond on this side of it. Faint talking, laughter and jingling came from the other side.
“It doesn’t sound dangerous,” said Blaze.
“We might as well walk in and let them know we’re here so that they know we’re not hostile,” replied Arc.
So they walked around the rock, making sure that their footsteps were easily heard with the grass. They were greeted by a strange scene.
A dark skinned Pixie with snowy white hair and blue wings sat by him. A miniaturized Suzerin jingled and dangled from a string about his left wrist. But he was the strangest thing sitting there. Spiky red hair, above his pleasantly smiling face. He wore a red trench coat, entirely suited up with straps, buttons and belt. From his back hung a sword and a scythe. A Durahan sword and a Joker Scythe. And in his lap rested what appeared to be the moon version of a Gali mask.
He looked up at the stunned pair.
“Hi, my name’s Eriks.”

By CHB on Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 07:51 pm:

Nice concept. If you work it right, you might have a very interesting tale unfold.

By Ken Kaji on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 06:44 pm:

thank you. next chapter introduces the bad guy (eclipse), the super weapon(sola), and the nuetrals (the afore mentioned zan and durahan).
as you might notice, there is a whole planetary/solar thing goin on. So far i got the sun and moon, and an eclipse. I wonder if i can/should do the planets? answers would be apreciated, since the story isn't set in stone.
oh yeah, you do get to meet the mentioned breeders(rival and kinky girl) and their monsters. it might not be in the next chapter though.

By CHB on Saturday, April 5, 2003 - 10:26 am:

Two things:

1) Work on length. Most of the time, shorter chapters will leave people hanging and frustrated, and may loose interest.

2) Don't give away charactor set up like that. Build into it with your story, don't give away the suprises. :P

By Ken Kaji on Sunday, April 6, 2003 - 07:41 pm:

sorry. i felt i needed to to answer you, not to the world in general, like author to author (do you write?), not meant for the reader. whoops